dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line