Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize