doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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