shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
