4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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