there's paper in my vomit.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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