well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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