Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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