dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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