T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick