just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have poison ivy on my dick
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.