maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that