I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.