thanks...oh and i got my period
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax