dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is wine microwaveable?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...