: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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