if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize