She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
