Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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