They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i think my cat just said my name.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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