my mouth tastes like poor choices
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
soo... how was my night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
