We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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