just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
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Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...