Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
