come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
