I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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