I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
