Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
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Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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