I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
did you just send me my own nude
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun