why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?