Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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