You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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