his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
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He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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