But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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