Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
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I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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