I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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