I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize