bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
