To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
People in love make me want to vomit
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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