he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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