I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize