I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
