Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize