grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
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You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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