I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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