Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
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Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize