I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
