I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
