The maid of honor just puked.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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