I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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