Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
