Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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