My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize