just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
