my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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