Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
